Paula Johnston is the founder of NeuCoach and creator of Living Systems Leadership, with 30+ years in leadership development.
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One of the things I value most in leadership development is how differently people learn when they have something outside themselves to observe first.
What A Herd Of Horses Can Reveal About Interpretation
At The Natural Boardroom, my company’s outdoor leadership development facility, we combine neuroscience, nature-based activities and experiential group learning to help leaders explore their behavior and impact on others. Our herd of horses provides another opportunity for observation and reflection.
I sometimes ask a group to simply observe the herd. Before long, people are trying to work out who the leader is and describing what they think they can see. “He’s the boss.” “She’s not interested.” “He’s a bit pushy.” “They’re aloof.”
What quickly becomes clear is that people can observe exactly the same horse and come to completely different conclusions. One person sees confidence while someone else sees pushiness. One sees independence while another sees aloofness.
The herd exposes interpretation.
We do exactly the same thing with people at work. We observe behavior and attach meaning to it, often without being fully aware of how quickly we have done so.
Intent Versus Impact
This means leaders often judge themselves by their intentions while the people around them experience their leadership through its impact. I hear people say, “That wasn’t my intention” quite often when they receive feedback about their behavior. Intent matters, but it does not undo an impact that has already been felt.
You may intend to be decisive while somebody else experiences you as controlling. You may believe you are being helpful while someone else feels you are taking over. You may value being direct while the person on the receiving end experiences you as dismissive.
How we intend to show up is only part of the picture; how we are experienced matters, too.
This is where observing the herd can create a surprisingly useful learning moment. People can disagree about what they are seeing, laugh about their interpretations and become curious about why the same behavior has been read in such different ways. Nobody needs to defend themselves because the conversation is not yet about them.
The herd exposes interpretation before the leader becomes the subject of the interpretation. Only then do we start turning the lens back toward the individual.
Why Self-Awareness Is Key
Tools like strengths or personality profiles can give leaders a language for understanding their patterns, although the real learning comes when they begin to think about how those patterns are experienced by other people.
A strength that feels positive from the inside may not always land that way on the outside. Decisiveness can become over-direction. A desire to help can become taking over. Confidence can be experienced as dominance. Under pressure, those patterns can become even more pronounced.
The strength itself has not suddenly become a problem. What matters is how it is being expressed and how that expression is being received.
This connects with something I have written about previously: Behavior is the output; state is the source. Pressure, uncertainty and stress can change the way familiar strengths and behavioral tendencies show up. The more aware leaders become of that, the more choice they have about how they respond.
A profile can tell you something about your patterns. A living system can help you consider what those patterns might feel like to somebody else.
For me, that is where self-awareness becomes more useful. Self-awareness is not only about understanding our own values, strengths and intentions. It is also about being willing to consider how other people experience us.
Perception is not always fact, but it shapes relationships. If several people consistently experience a leader as intimidating, dismissive or controlling, saying “that wasn’t my intention” is not enough. Effective leadership requires us to be willing to explore that gap.
When The Route Inward Starts By Looking Outward
Observing the herd gives people a way into that conversation, allowing them to see how quickly, and how differently, behavior is interpreted. Then the question becomes harder to avoid: What might people be interpreting when they observe me?
Sometimes people learn about themselves differently when they first have something outside themselves to observe.
Sometimes the most useful route inward starts by looking outward.
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