Jacob Elordi Cans Cannes Plans, Not in Jury Due to Injury

Ouchie.
Photo: Gilbert Flores/Penske Media via Getty Images

The 79th Cannes Film Festival kicks off next week, but you know who won’t be doing any kicking on or off anytime soon? Jacob Elordi. According to “Page Six,” Elordi has bailed on his Cannes jury duty due to a foot injury. Those of us keeping up with the third season of Euphoria can only hope it’s not half as bad as what’s going on with Nate’s foot there. You might think to yourself, A busted foot? Isn’t that the type of injury you could probably watch movies no problem with? Maybe that’s true if you are normal-size and the act of squeezing your feet into the row of a movie theater is no big deal. But Elordi is not normal-size. He is the Creature, he is Heathcliff, he is the tallest guy ever born. Imagine having a big ugly boot on your foot, being the most giant man ever, and having to squeeze your body into the row of a movie theater several days in a row? You’d bail too.

The big question that remains is who can fill Elordi’s shoes (sorry, sorry, I’m trying to delete it). This year’s Cannes jury is led by Park Chan-wook and features many friendly faces like Demi Moore (and presumably Pilaf), Ruth Negga, Isaach de Bankolé, Stellan Skarsgård, and Chloé Zhao. In Elordi’s absence, we should get another tall guy in the mix. Maybe Josh O’Connor? If Disclosure Day won’t be playing Cannes, then he could also do a kind of quiet promotion of the film by just being there and smiling. What about Kodi Smit-McPhee? That guy’s pretty tall too, and he’s Australian, like Elordi. Wait, maybe Chris Hemsworth should do it? Here’s hoping Elordi prioritizes his rest and relaxation in lieu of tripping the light fantastic on the Cannes red carpet. Maybe someone will send him a screener of the new Zvyagintsev while he heals.