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Out of all the holiday traditions, the New Year’s kiss might be the most fun—or fraught, depending who you ask. If you’re coupled, you probably haven’t given it much thought. But if you’re single, the prospect of finding someone to kiss at midnight might bring up panic, excitement, or dread. Most likely, a combination of all three.
But your New Year’s kiss need not be so dramatic—especially, once you consider its true meaning and origins. Whether you’re looking to spark some romance under buckets of confetti, or are simply spending the night in with your other half, here is a look at how everyone’s favorite—or not-so-favorite—New Year’s Eve tradition came to be, along with tips for making the most of it.
What is the origin of the New Year’s kiss?
The saucy tradition of starting the New Year with a smooch can be traced back to the winter solstice festival Saturnalia. In ancient Rome, Saturnalia was a mid-December pagan festival that honored Saturn, the agricultural god. This celebration included decorating homes with greenery, like wreaths, grand feasts, gift-giving, and socializing with friends and family. Sound familiar?
That said, Saturnalia wasn’t totally innocent. It also included the relaxing of societal norms, a public sacrifice, and non-stop partying. “For many, it involved a few too many alcoholic beverages,” explains etiquette expert Jo Hayes. “The common consequences of said indulgence? A fair amount of PDA—including kissing.”
Eventually, Saturnalia merged with the 12-day-long Christian celebrations of Christmas, which traditionally stretched past the New Year. However, the vibe didn’t get any tamer—in fact, in medieval times, the season was believed to have been nearly as wild as it was during pagan times, with plenty of public intoxication and frivolity. “In medieval Europe, the kissing tradition evolved out of masquerade balls where midnight unmaskings were punctuated by a kiss to cleanse and thereby secure a year of good fortune,” explains historian Ralph E. Long of Academized. “The kiss had become a means of protecting from loneliness or tragedy, and guaranteeing a new beginning in love and intimacy.”
Another festival, Hogmanay, which is still celebrated today, is the Scottish equivalent of a New Year’s celebration, complete with socializing, dancing, and singing “Auld Lang Syne” (written by Scottish author Robert Burns). The celebration would have people wishing one another a “Guid New Year” with warmth and kisses to lovers, friends, and strangers alike to embrace new beginnings.
But in modern America, the midnight kiss tradition has origins in English and German folklore. “German immigrants are typically credited for bringing this custom stateside,” explains Dr. Daniel Compora, a professor who teaches folklore and popular culture at The University of Toledo. To wit, a New York Times article from 1893 notes the earliest documentation of the tradition in New York City, where German immigrants would gather among one another for the New Year over food and drinks and spread kisses and hugs throughout the crowds. As the New Year’s Eve kiss became mainstream beyond German immigrants, and New York’s fireworks ban led to the ball drop tradition, Hollywood adopted the big kiss as a form of making your own fireworks—as shown in blockbusters like When Harry Met Sally and Bridget Jones’s Diary.
Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally.
Photo: Columbia Pictures / Courtesy Everett Collection
Why do we kiss on New Year’s?
While it’s fascinating to imagine the ancient traditions associated with the New Year’s kiss, our modern reasons for kissing may not have evolved much. “We humans use kisses—whether platonically or romantically—to express greetings, affection, and celebration,” comments Hayes. “This is the case for New Year’s Eve celebrations, too.”
On the other hand, there could be a deeper reason we feel driven to smooch as the clock strikes midnight. “It’s the idea of divine alignment—that what you’re doing and who you’re with on New Year’s Eve serves as a portend for the year ahead,” explains Hayes. “If you’re keen on pursuing a relationship with someone in the year ahead, or simply looking to deepen existing relationships, you’ll ring in the new year with those people and give them a kiss.”
Beyond the tradition, a New Year’s kiss also carries superstition. Some believe that locking lips at the stroke of midnight can strengthen an already-existing relationship and offer good luck, and that a lack of someone to do it with means an upcoming year of loneliness.
Or, it could simply be a matter of plain ol’ drunkenness—much like our Saturnalia-celebrating forebears. “While these traditions certainly provide a reason to kiss someone who is nearby, I fear that the real motivator is intoxication,” Compora says. “People are a lot more open after they’ve had a few drinks, and the chance to steal a kiss from a lovely person—whether they are a spouse, a close friend, or a stranger—probably seems like a great idea at that moment.”
How to build up to a New Year’s kiss
Whether you’re prescribing a deeper meaning to your New Year’s kiss or simply looking to lock lips with a cutie, kisses should always be consensual. “I recommend that people open their arms for a hug first, giving the other person a chance to consent to such intimate contact,” Compora advises.
It’s also important to keep your expectations realistic, according to eharmony’s relationship expert, Laurel House. “The New Year’s kiss can be like the physical fireworks that we’re seeing outside,” she told Vogue. “I believe you can create that firework, whether you have an actual kiss or not.” In a sense, the kiss is that “explosive grand finale at the end of the night,” House says.
How long should a New Year’s kiss be?
Once you’re sure you’ve got the go ahead, the length of the kiss is up to the kisser and the kissee. “It really depends on who one is kissing,” confirms Hayes. “If it’s a platonic kiss on the cheek, between family or friends, a peck up to one second is appropriate. If, however, it’s the Hallmark-movie-romantic kiss, well, how long is a piece of string? These things don’t have a formula.”
After all, it really comes down to the meaning behind the action. “It’s not as much about length as it is about authenticity,” agrees Long. “Whether short or long, it’s celebratory, an invitation to enjoy the present and embrace the future. It’s a sign of affection, unity and hope—a time of open intimacy with one another in the new year.”
It’s no big deal if you don’t have a kiss lined up
The idea that you have to find your perfect kisser for the night is, of course, counterproductive. Allow yourself to relax, and be open-minded about what the night will bring. “We usually end up finding the most physical, explosive connection with someone who might not be our expected attracted person,” says House. New Year’s can offer an opportunity to get out of your comfort zone if you’re craving a change. Consider making the first move at a holiday party, or even planning a first date for December 31.
When it comes down to it, understand what a New Year’s kiss means for you. Whether you’re looking for something nurturing, exciting, or grounding, knowing what you want can make the journey there that much easier. And if you’re not a fan of the kissing tradition? “The point of New Year’s Eve isn’t about kissing. The point is ending the year feeling great so that you can start and define the year in a way that you want the rest of the year to feel,” she says. Sometimes a fantastic conversation or moment of self-care is better than a lukewarm kiss—regardless of what tradition or superstition has to say on the matter.
