Boobs and chests tend to play a role during sex. But did you know they can be the literal star of the show? Yes, we’re talking about a nipple orgasm, or a big-O that happens with exclusively (or primarily) nipple-focused play.
Just like your nether regions, your nipples and areolas (the darker skin around them) are an erogenous zone, meaning they have touch-sensitive nerve endings and can make you feel turned on when they’re stimulated, Laurie Mintz, PhD, a Gainesville, Florida–based licensed psychologist, certified sex therapist, and author of Becoming Cliterate, tells SELF.
In fact, it’s common for nipple stuff to feel great on its own—research suggests that more than 95% of women can get hot from stimulation of non-genital body parts, with boobs ranking top of that list. And case studies in both premenopausal and postmenopausal women have shown that orgasms achieved without genital stimulation can spark the same changes in blood hormone levels that occur with a typical genital orgasm.
That doesn’t mean everyone can have a nipple orgasm, “nor does everyone respond to nipple stimulation in the same way or find it arousing in the first place,” Angie Rowntree, a sexologist and founder and director of Sssh.com, tells SELF. And there’s no shame in having or not having a nipple orgasm, Dr. Mintz says.
There’s also no harm in exploring boob or chest stuff and seeing if you can come from it. Read on to learn all about nipple orgasms—how they happen, what they feel like, and how to bring one on yourself or with a partner.
How does a nipple orgasm happen?
When you caress, squeeze, or pinch your nipples in a way that feels sexy, your brain may interpret that feeling the same way as if you touched, say, your clitoris or G-spot. In a 2011 study of 11 women (who were asked to touch themselves in the name of science), MRI scans revealed that the genital sensory cortex—a brain region activated by genital touch—also lit up when the women stimulated their nipples, Christie Cobb, MD, a board-certified ob-gyn in Little Rock, Arkansas, tells SELF. And a follow-up 2020 study found a similar brain response to nipple stuff in men.
One way to think about it: If rubbing your clit or riding a dildo is like pumping the gas pedal, touching your nipples is like hitting “a second gas pedal,” Dr. Cobb says. “They are going to the same places neurologically and can be used together or individually to reach orgasm.”
Science also shows that touching your nipples can spark the release of oxytocin—the feel-good hormone often linked with cuddling and hugging—from a region of the brain called the hypothalamus, Dr. Cobb says. And though the research isn’t totally clear on how, a spike in oxytocin likely plays a role in both sexual arousal and orgasm.
What does a nipple orgasm feel like?
Rather than thinking about a nipple orgasm as its own distinct experience, it might be more accurate to see your chest as yet another (great) route to the same orgasmic destination. No matter where the stimulation occurs, with any O, you’ll feel a similarly hot buildup of tension down there followed by a satisfying release.
“People talk about this kind of orgasm and that kind of orgasm, but in the end, they’re physiologically the same,” Dr. Mintz explains. In essence: Your heart rate speeds up, your blood flow increases (yes, to your genitals, but also throughout your body—hello, hard nipples!), and a series of pelvic floor muscle contractions leads to that big finish. (Exactly how intense an orgasm is can certainly vary, but in any case, it typically feels good.)
Still, that’s not to say you won’t experience the path to orgasm a little differently by focusing on your nipples versus genitals. Anecdotally, “some people say a nipple orgasm builds more slowly and then creates waves throughout the body,” Dr. Mintz says. If you have breasts, they might also feel more sensitive to touch—and a nipple orgasm, more intense—if you’re on your period or breastfeeding. The only way to find out what it will feel like to you, though, is to try it out yourself.
How to have a fantastic nipple orgasm
As with any kind of orgasm, setting out with the specific goal of achieving a nipple orgasm can prevent you from “being truly present in sensation and emotion…which can be a roadblock to experiencing your full pleasure potential,” Emily Depasse, MSW, MEd, a Philadelphia-based sex educator and Everlywell partner, tells SELF. Instead, approach it with an experimental mentality, Dr. Mintz suggests. If it works, great! And if it doesn’t? At least you devoted time to exploring your body and sexuality—which is still a win.
Another thing to keep in mind: It might take some playing around to find what feels good, so if at first you don’t succeed…well, you know what to do. “Just like how there is individual preference to how genitals are stimulated to reach orgasm, the same is true with nipple stimulation,” Dr. Cobb says. For instance, some rhythmic tugging or pinching could absolutely send one person over the edge, while for another it might feel weird or downright uncomfortable. Generally, you want to start with a lighter touch and slowly ramp up the pressure. Let your body’s reaction be the guide, Dr. Mintz says.
Below, you’ll find a bunch of expert-backed ideas for giving your or a partner’s nipples a whole new level of TLC.
By yourself
1. Set the mood. Physical sensations—including nipple touch—tend to feel more powerful when you can fully tune into them. And that’s easier when you’re in a relaxing space and not distracted by things like a pile of laundry that needs to be folded or a babbling neighbor. So take a moment to turn on a sexy playlist, light a candle, and maybe even make your bed with fresh sheets. If you have time, consider practicing your favorite mode of self-care too, Depasse suggests, like taking a bath or meditating. If the overall vibe is giving pleasure, you’ll have a better masturbation experience.
2. Do a full breast massage. It could feel a bit jarring or ticklish to touch your nipples from the jump. “Start with a light touch to circle the entire breast,” Dr. Mintz suggests. Massaging each full boob with your palm can get you going. Then, you can transition to caressing your nipples with your fingers or even different textures of fabric, Depasse says. (Draping a silk shirt or lace undies over your bare chest could feel really sexy here.)
3. Use a finger or two to trace, flick, and roll. Here’s where you can really get into nipple play—and anything you can think to do with your fingers is up for (literal) grabs. “Experiment with different motions like tracing circles with your fingers or fingernails [around your areolas] and twisting and lightly tugging your nipples,” Depasse suggests. If gentle touch feels good, you can also explore cranking up the pressure while you rub in different directions, Dr. Mintz says, adding that some folks may enjoy squeezing and rolling a nipple between their thumb and forefinger. When you find something you like, stick with it so long as you’re enjoying it, and experiment with feeling up one or both boobs at a time.
4. Play with temperature. If breast stuff is already a staple in your sexual repertoire, you might need a little more than some fingering to get into nipple-O territory. And that’s where temperature play can come into the picture, Dr. Mintz says: Gliding a frozen metal spoon across your tits or drizzling them in warm massage oil and going to town can be ridiculously hot. And the jolt of heat or coldness may be an entirely novel sensation for your chest during solo sex, which can really heighten your experience, Depasse says.
5. Involve a toy. Who said vibrators were just for vaginas? You can use practically any vibrating toy on your nipples with a light touch, but according to Depasse, some particularly apt ones for this dual purpose are clitoral suction vibrators (which are made to mimic the feeling of oral sex) and finger vibrators (which slide onto or between your fingers for targeted stimulation). Both kinds will offer your areolas a fresh sensation that fingers—and even a partner’s mouth—can’t quite match. If you find that you’re really into breast stuff, you can also invest in nipple clamps, Dr. Mintz says, which you place around your nipples and leave there for a while to apply a continuous flow of pressure. That way, your hands are free to do…other things! Cue: multiple orgasms.
6. Explore orgasm delay. Sometimes, the longer you have to wait for a good thing, the sweeter it is when it arrives. That’s the power of edging, or putting off an orgasm when you can feel yourself approaching one. To try it, just let up a little bit or even stop for a few seconds and take a couple deep breaths whenever any of the above techniques starts to feel really good, Dr. Mintz suggests. As you pick back up again, you might just find that things are even more intense than before. Feel free to play with delay as many times as you want before ultimately granting yourself an epic finish.
With a partner
You can translate any of the above into a partnered-sex situation by letting them know how you’d like to be touched. It’s great to have that conversation when you’re not about to hook up, Dr. Mintz says, particularly if boob things haven’t been on the agenda in the past. You can say something like, “Hey, I’ve been playing with my tits and finding it really hot, and I’d love it if you did that too.”
Sure, it may feel a little awkward at first, but ultimately, you can’t rely on a partner to read your mind when you’re looking for something specific in bed. And you might even find that your partner appreciates clear direction when it comes to satisfying you, Dr. Mintz says.
Of course, adding a partner into the equation also opens the door for different kinds of stimulation that might be tough to do, logistically, to your own boobs. Plus, more hands means more opportunity to get other body parts involved too. Here are a few ideas to try:
1. Turn up the sexy vibes first. A little anticipation can go a long way. So get things going with a partner before you hop into bed, say, with a little sexting or IRL dirty talk, Depasse suggests. Need some fodder for what to say? Maybe you start with the things you can’t wait for them to do to your breasts, or tell them how you’re warming yourself up for them.
2. Involve your (or their) lips, tongue, breath, and even teeth. Just like with typical oral sex, you can put your mouth to work on a partner’s chest or ask them to do so on yours. “Some people like their partner to blow air [on their breasts],” Dr. Mintz says. Try opening your mouth wide for a warm effect or pursing your lips for a cooler puff. Licking and sucking on nipples can also offer a different feeling while, again, freeing up hands for other sexy stuff. If you’re looking for additional pressure or intensity, ask your partner to experiment with their teeth, Depasse adds. A little nibbling or even biting can toe the line between pain and pleasure—in a good way (if you’re both enthusiastically into it, of course).
3. Add in some touch elsewhere. Nipples are generally easy to access while also showing a little love to other body parts—like, yes, a vagina or penis, or just an inner thigh or neck. And when there’s more than one person involved, it’s easier to explore a bunch of erogenous zones at once: Maybe they’re massaging your breasts while you’re using a clit vibrator, or you’re licking their nipples while they’re giving themselves a hand job or rubbing their own clit. The possible combinations for boobs-plus-other-stuff are pretty much endless.
And if you’re thinking, Well, if you’re stimulating other body parts, is it really a nipple orgasm when you finish?, Dr. Mintz suggests tuning into your body; you’ll likely be able to feel where the most powerful sensation is emanating from. But, also, it’s not worth getting caught up in what exactly is catalyzing your orgasm if you’re having one. Breast stuff can be additive or it can be the whole shebang, and if you wind up feeling amazing, then it doesn’t necessarily matter whether your nipples were partially or wholly responsible.
Frequently asked questions about nipple orgasms
Who is most likely to enjoy a nipple orgasm?
Anyone could benefit from the pleasure of nipple play, not to mention all the trickle-down perks from orgasms of any kind, like a mood boost and better sleep.
But a nipple orgasm might also be an especially accessible route to pleasure for those who struggle to have a genital orgasm. There are a bunch of possible reasons for that, Dr. Cobb points out, ranging from moral boundaries around genital stimulation, to the vaginal thinning of menopause, to certain chronic conditions (like vulvodynia) and medical treatments (like prior pelvic surgery or radiation).
These scenarios can make genital sex acts painful. Opting for nipple play instead can “trigger the same positive physiological and neurochemical response [of genital touch] while bypassing any pathology related to genital stimulation,” Dr. Cobb says.
Who might have trouble achieving a nipple orgasm?
If you’ve had breast surgery (a lift, reduction, lumpectomy, or mastectomy, for instance), you may not be able to experience a nipple orgasm, as these procedures can impact nipple sensation, Dr. Cobb notes. Changes in nipple sensitivity from hormonal shifts or breastfeeding can also influence how any kind of stimulation feels.
Separately, if you hold a negative association with this part of your body, stimulating it likely won’t feel pleasurable, Rowntree notes. That’s because the way you think about a sexual experience plays a huge role in how it ultimately feels.
Remember, if you fall into any of these buckets, or can’t enjoy a nipple orgasm for another reason, it’s certainly not a failure, Rowntree says: “All types of orgasms are valid, and erogenous zones and arousal are subjective across the board.”
What can you do if your nipple gets overstimulated?
Nipples are made up of delicate tissue and bundles of nerves, so it can definitely happen. First, pause what you’re doing, or tell your partner to do so—communicating directly is always better than hoping that they’ll read your nonverbal cues. If you’re otherwise feeling okay, you could move along to other erogenous zones, Rowntree says. Once things settle down, you can return to boob stuff, but if you do, Rowntree suggests keeping the stimulation light and avoiding direct nipple play.
What can you do if your nipples remain sensitive after the experience?
A warm or cool compress could be the move here—just avoid ice, as nipple skin is very thin, delicate, and prone to damage, Dr. Cobb says. She also recommends a bit of topical lidocaine, which can be found in hemorrhoid ointment, if you happen to have it on hand, as it can decrease nerve sensation temporarily. If your nipples feel dried out, Rowntree recommends gliding on a bit of nonscented moisturizing lotion.
You can also wear silicone nipple shields (often used during breastfeeding) to decrease any friction on the nipple from clothing, Dr. Cobb says. Opting for a loose top and soft bra (or no bra) can also minimize uncomfortable rubbing.
If the sensitivity keeps up for more than a day or so, or you have broken skin or discharge, however, then Rowntree says it’s important to check in with your doctor, just to make sure you address any wound or possible infection.
Related:
- 9 G-Spot Sex Positions for Deep Penetration and Intense Orgasms
- So You Want to Learn How to Squirt During Sex
- Want Better Sex? Start With This Workout
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